I did lose my mind. It caught fire and I was gone. At first I was in denial and so going to the hospital sounded terrifying. But it wasn’t. I met people who were actually feeling things, thinking things, undergoing things that were beyond their understanding or control. Too much going on to wake up with the alarm to sit in traffic and say polite hellos to their coworkers. Just to go home and discuss seriously what they would have for dinner.
I belonged there. With the insane.
They seemed the last people on earth who were actually still alive. Not emotionally numb, going through the motions, or worse, rotting in self-imposed house arrest. Or worse than that, out in the world fake smiling and pretending that this, THIS society is the best of all possible realities. Those people kill me. Like, I die a little inside when I have to see or hear them.
This place is lost. And anyone who says otherwise is working for the deceiver. This is his paradise. No one elses.
If you are unhappy with your lot in life, unable to plow through, you are crazy. The book of diagnoses gets bigger every few years – with a bunch of geniuses sitting in a room labelling every possible human emotion or quirk and calling it – A DISABILITY.
How many people do you know who are on something for something? It’s ludicrous.
They are now building psychiatric wards for children, because it is your children who are disabled, not society. Society is a great and perfect well-oiled machine, it is your child who is DISABLED.
We are being fucked with.
Not that I deny losing my mind. Yes, I proudly proclaim I am unable to acclimate to this sick society. In my own old-fashioned terms, I am a sick shaman or mystic. Living water unable to thrive in such stagnant conditions. ‘Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’
In modern medical terms I am disabled. Bipolar. Unbalanced in some way. That’s fine, too. Whatever. Call me anything you like, it is all a blessing. ‘Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.’
Whether it be true or false or exaggerated, who cares. I just want to say that this mental health push is darkness. It is the society who is sick, not you. If you are unable to fall in line, it is a sign that you are still alive in some way. Embrace that.
Learn to live on and be content with what little you have. ‘It is useless; it is like chasing the wind. It is better to be satisfied with what you have than to be always wanting something else.’ Sell everything if you are weighed down with possessions. ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”‘ Live out of a van or RV for a spell. Take a trip. Keep a pet. ‘The righteous care for the needs of their animals.’ Learn to partner dance. Stay in better touch with your friends and family. Listen to what your heart wants. ‘Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.’ Even if it is not profitable or seemingly possible. ‘All things are possible for one who believes.’
The more you let go the more you will become as living water. Flowing freely through society. And you will begin to see just how unfree we really are as a healthy, “free” nation. But it doesn’t matter. If you are free in your heart and soul, then you have wings wherever you go. Even in jail. (Not that you should break the law! Just an expression.) Even in death. You have been freed of the mental health mind fuck! Go, ‘Be fruitful and multiply.’