Feeling Small / Feeling Tall

Sometimes I feel like a tiny, little ant, reader. Biting the small toe of The Man. All he need do is look down and flick me away and – poof – problem solved. Other times I feel I am the human, living on an ant bed. All these tiny nuisances surrounding me, biting me, wanting to devour me – but they are too tiny. And I am too big. Still too alive.

What is this that makes me feel so tiny and so invincible in the same breath? Is this the power of God? Why am I fearless in front of a grown man full of murderous hatred towards me while at the same time breathlessly intimidated by the innocence of a small child?

I wish I knew. Michael knew. Or it seems he felt the same. I am so grateful for his life and artistic legacy. It enriches me everyday. Long live the King.

Last night, I had the pleasure of being invited to an exclusive party as a closure for SXSW. And you know what I did? I almost got kicked out, preaching about the glory of Jesus and using the infamous “Leave Me Alone” phrase on people I deemed to be evil. Someone dubbed me ‘Jesus Lady’ and I hope it sticks. Before anyone knows the name Crystal Fulbright, I should like that they hear about this “crazy, but ever so polite” Jesus Lady. That’s a name that will get me through the door.

Or kicked out. Either way. It is a name that will spread. Like wildfire.

I should probably prefer being kicked out as I am ‘Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.’ But on the other hand, there is business to be done. Music is a business first, in the eyes of most. And that’s fine by me. I would love to make someone money in exchange for making true art.

Good art = Good money

Let’s dance.

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