God’s Will

I don’t really know much about Joan of Arc. Just the fundamentals like everyone else. I do know she claimed to have visions, believed she was doing God’s will and in the end was burned at the stake. I have not been so fortunate as to have visions – even when I was out of my mind, there were no visions.

That does not mean I have not seen miracles. I have. But they happen subtly, in such ordinary circumstances and with ordinary people that describing them would not do the magic justice. It was the communion of hearts. Whether I set theirs alight or vice versa – there is a magical, tangible fire in Love. A dangerous fire for those who might be devoured by it…

‘But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.’

I understand why I am under surveillance 24 hours a day. Taunted everywhere I go with disguised curses and scornful looks. The wicked rulers are afraid I will bring change to this hellish place. And I will.

‘Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.’

I am compelled beyond my own ability to understand. I feel I am just an insturment, as I imagine Joan must have felt. I am no warrior though, I will wield no sword except that of the Spirit…

‘Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.’

So I will continue to walk blind, with only my inner light to guide me. I am missing my friend today, he would have been such a good leader through all this turmoil. I will never waver like that again, so I take solace in knowing, ‘The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining brighter and brighter till the full light of day.’

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