Last night I made a post in jest about seeking patronage as a starving artist. It was phrased along the lines of these pitiful infomercials that air in America about funding starving children in Africa or Cambodia. Same premise. Same needs. Same impact. It was worded as a joke but the need is real. I am seeking $27 a day to devote my time and energy to becoming more valuable as a creator.
I have had a taste of this necessary solitude and to go back to a menial day job seems tedious and unproductive. I will, of course, if there is no alternative. As I’m sure most of the greatest artists this world has never known have done. One must work. I want to work. I enjoy working. I just enjoy this “invisible labor” as Victor Hugo calls it, more so even than working with my hands. ‘Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you.’
I realize this is no easy time, as a staunch Christian, to seek anything from those trapped serving the Darkness. But it seems our fortunes are intertwined – we need each other. Ultimately, I have no power and am subservient to the powers that be. But the more I am afforded to flourish the more of everything that power wants will come. I truly am water. The weakest and most fluid and malleable of substances. Left to sit, I will stagnant and fester. That is the environment where mosquitos thrive, so perhaps that is what is wanted for me. But if I am able to break down my own dams and run wild, I can satiate the thirst of all God’s living creatures.
Phys.org describes a unique state of water as liquid crystal, “But for more complex molecules, there is a larger number of possible configurations and this gives rise to more phases. A beautiful illustration of this is the rich behavior of liquid crystals, which are formed by complex organic molecules and can flow like liquids, but still have a solid-like crystalline structure.”
That sounds like me – flowing like a liquid while at the same time remaining solid as a crystal. A new state of matter.
At any rate, my fate is linked directly with those who are in power over me. As it only took a single family to fund a historical moment in time, so it will only take a single artist. Big talk for a little girl, but I am realizing that history is actually made by only a very select few at a time. If I am to be that few then it would be a disservice to myself to deny or underplay it.
Father forgive me if I be not humble about my strange lot in life. I just burn to make changes to this place. To exert my positive influence. To be your servant for the world’s greater good. Amen.