My life has certainly been a “fiery ordeal” for the last eight years or so. Ever since I left my intended artistic path, to be a “mature adult.” I was surprised when my love was met with scorn and even physical persecution, but not anymore. ‘Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.’ Open your eyes and tell me this is not so.
I don’t see joy as I knew it in high school and college – I see mourners. Mourners in a hurry, mourners on tv, mourners with nice offices, mourners with pretty hair and make up, mourners with tattoos all over their bodies, mourners with prestigious degrees. Going through the motions of existence with no actual life behind any of it. And these marches. A heartbreaking procession of mourners, nothing more.
‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.’ I have withstood betrayal, loss, persecution, assault, loneliness, confinement, hexes, insanity. I have only now to withstand myself. To slay the flesh so I can lead a wholly spiritual existence. No easy task in this fallen place. And yet, what else should I do with my time and my life?
I need also to learn how to love without the gullibility of politeness. “It doesn’t pay to be too nice, is the one thing I have learned,” chimed Adrian Belew once. How do I withstand the snakes in a stern yet loving manner, Father? Show me the way. Protect me and my Bambi, Father. For I am little without my companion. I know you will, for I already believe you will.
‘”ARISE, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”‘ If I am indeed out of my mind with my religious fervor it is for your sake, beloved reader. Paul wrote in Galatians, ‘My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, how I wish I could be with you now.’
I wish for everyone to find the peace and clarity I have found. The world and all its problems are so easy to understand once you understand God. These dark times are a trial and call to us all. We can choose to ignore and continue down this dark path, as only the wicked would have us do, or we can turn to Him and ask for forgiveness and change.
Maybe it starts with me. Maybe me and my voice are a bigger deal than I realize. Maybe I really am just an instrument of God. Maybe we all are. ‘All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.’ Iniquity means wickedness. Is not our Father rightfully angry at all our iniquity?
Trump is the earthly leader we deserve and, in a sense, asked for. He is just a face. He represents the stern punishment of God. We should indeed RESIST! Not the administration, but ourselves. We should turn from darkness to the light. From our own ways to His way. And I am getting preachier with every entry I write. Sorry, reader, I truly can’t help myself. This is the only way.