This cover photo was taken of me somewhere along my trek across Spain. I had a friend take it as something funny, a joke. I thought the smiling sheep were cute in front of that white church. But, I think it’s common knowledge that all the best jokes have kernels of truth in them.

Again, this was before my eyes were opened, but my heart knew all along. That’s why I ever took the pose. Your heart knows. Listen to it. It has cost my life dearly to not listen to mine, so if I can save one person from making the same mistake my living will not be in vain.

‘”I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.”‘

The good Lord Jesus says you will find him when you seek him. I have found this to be undoubtedly true. He has come close to my heart as I have reached out for him. And how does one reach out? ‘The Lord says, “Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning.”‘

I think if things proceed as ugly as they’re going the mourning may come naturally. These are very dark times, but they do say it is always darkest before the dawn.

Fasting is an incredible practice. It makes you feel like you have wings. It must be done with the right intentions, always praying and keeping God on the forefront of your mind. If not, your mind will be filled with the trivial longings for food. How trite. But if done correctly, and it is all in the trying to do it correctly, it will leave you spiritually quite well-fed.

I will not be with you always this closely, dear reader. I know the authorities are coming soon for me and that is okay, for, ‘Because of my imprisonment, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.’

‘For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.’ 

I know this to be God’s plan for me. I hope it will refine me and remove this stubborn folly that plagues me. ‘As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.’ I feel I have learned all I can from the sleeping masses, I have lived among them for 33 years. I am ready to plunge into the darkness of this world’s power structure. As a prisoner.

I will wear my chains for Christ as a bride her wedding gown. It will all be for his sake, so it will be undoubtedly beautiful.

‘With God all things are possible.’ I do believe this with all my heart. And therein lies my salvation.

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