The Blessings of my Shadows

“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”

Heaven forgive me if that quote is above and beyond prideful, but I do think a lot of my problems stem from being misunderstood. I think I am quite crystal-clear, but this kind of clarity is lost on the darkness of these times.

On to the point of today’s journal entry…

If you are an artist who has yet to sell their soul to the Devil and make as much music and do as much touring as easily and quickly as you like- then you are being watched. Not to frighten you, on the contrary this is a kind of blessing.

Wish were that someone told me that when I initially discovered I was being followed. It gave me a great fright! I am a law-abiding citizen who wouldn’t hurt a fly, why me? I am a believer that is why. ‘Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.’ This is the Devil’s world, not ours. ‘I am a stranger on earth.,’ it says in Psalms.

‘Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.’ You see, we are blessed. If you are righteous, that is. Meaning, free from guilt or sin. Not as easy as it would seem in this fallen place. It means a lot of alone time, long walks, aimless bike rides, books, an open journal, a good dog to keep you company. Things to bide the time until we return to our true home.

And should the shadows speak and curse you aloud, you should always reply with a blessing. ‘Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who abuse you.’ Their cursing usually takes the form of an insincere “I like your shoes. I like your glasses. I like your shirt.” Simple words, but there is an unholy viciousness behind them. Watch yourselves.

‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.’ Show me the way, Father. I know your grace is sufficient and I should learn my own lessons like the Child of God that I am, but I am having trouble relating to those people who seem to have never known warmth. Everything I seem to do seems wrong. Perhaps I do not understand them just as they do not understand me. I do love, but I do not know how to appropriately express it. My very existence seems to infuriate them, what can a child do?

I take comfort in knowing, ‘The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.’ I’ll figure it out. I have a lot to learn, but look how much I’ve already discovered! I am so grateful. Thank you, Father.

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