To see if this will work. Starting a blog but calling it a journal on my site and to myself. I hope to lure in the curious. Also, I think it’s a prettier word. Also, also, there is no stealing or losing of journals on the internet.
As I begin this endeavor at a low point in my life, I open with a photo of me at a high one. Having just walked 6 weeks across Spain on a trek known as the Camino de Santiago, this is me blissfully at my final destination the Santiago de Compostela Cathedral. It’s traditionally a catholic pilgrimage, but to me it was wonderful for getting closer to the Spirit and I’m not Catholic. Just a believer. More than a believer. A modern mystic sick on a sick society.
Could be why I’m starting this open journal. To try and show you, my reader, that I am not merely ‘crazy,’ but highly sensitive, highly emotional, highly attuned to all that surrounds me. Don’t get me wrong, I did indeed lose my mind at some point in the last three years, but it’s not permanently gone, I’m here now.
“What’s it like to lose your mind?”
Like setting fire to your very life. It’s freeing and beautiful, exciting and scary for a while… but when the flames die down (and you are fortunate if they do, otherwise you’re really gone) you have only the ashes, burnt bridges and tarnished memories left. And that’s the strangest part to me, I remember almost everything. Yet, I wasn’t in control. God is perhaps humbling me through sheer embarrassment.
All is not lost though. I did gain some very valuable wisdom on my road to madness and back. And ‘she is more valuable than rubies, nothing you desire can compare to her.’